Friday, September 23, 2005


Emerald Isle
1501 Dorchester Ave.
Dorchester, MA


3G's Sports Bar (7PM)
152 Millbury Street

Worcester, MA

Chuck's Steak House
10 Prospect Street @ Rte. 20
Auburn, MA

Comedy Connection
Faneuil Hall

Boston, MA

Helen's Cafe
Weymouth Landing
Braintree, MA

As always,
email me if you are interested in attending a show on Sundays or Thursdays at Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault in Boston.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Bush's Nemesis

I'm starting to get the feeling that these hurricanes are Mother Nature's revenge on Bush for his environmental policies. Katrina ruined his legacy, and now Rita is aiming for his home. Coincidence? I think there was a hurricane planned for Washington, DC but mother nature figured Bush would be out on vacation anyway.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Drive-Thru Church

RE: the comcept of Drive-Thru do they handle communion? Do they have vacuum tubes like banks? Do you send up money in the tube and get a Host and a nip of wine in return?

And can you order by number at McDonald's? "I'll have the #2 extra-value salvation, with a Hail Mary on the side?" Would people be able to order super-sized confessions if they've been really really bad?

Shameless Self Promotion

Cntent Note: Joe Calapai will, for now, refer to himself in the third person in an effort to get Joe Calapai's own site on search engines. For whatever reason if you type "Joe Calapai" into Yahoo! or Goodle search, you won't get this site. Oddly enough, if you enter the same thing into search on Yahoo! Canada or Yahoo! Australia and New Zealand, then you DO get this site. So Joe Calapai hopes that if he repeats his name, Joe Calapai, enough times, the Joe Calapai site will come up when you enter "Joe Calapai" in the search.

Friday, September 16, 2005

How Much Does he Cost Against The Salary Cap?

Fret not, the Montreal Expos' mascot Youppi! has found a home - across town with the Montreal Canadiens.

His first game will be against the Bruins. I wonder if Blades will make the trip to "get acquainted" ie start a brawl? When I went to a baseball game at Stade Olympique, I thought Youppi!'s antics were quite enjoyable. However, you gotta wonder how a French baseball mascot will stand up to an angry American bear hockey mascot.

Thursday, September 15, 2005

It's Called Lame

Did I see this right tonight on NESN? Is the Bruins new marketing slogan REALLY "It's Called Bruins?" Took them two years to come up with that?!

In due fairness to the Bruins, it is not on their website so maybe its just something that NESN is doing independently.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

Favre Hits a New Low

I know things went badly for Favre last week, but c'mon.

Also, this is pretty interesting. A parody allegedly written before Bush took office:

Friday, September 09, 2005

Grand Canal Comedy Contest

Okay, here are some details on the comedy contest. I'm trying to embed links in the message, so hopefully you should be able to just click to find the club's website and map.

Grand Canal - Map

Date is next Thursday, September 14th. I think the time is 9pm. I need two people to get onstage, although since its audience balloting any more are welcome.

If I'm in the top three, then the finals are on the last Thursday of the month.

Email me if you can go. As always, let me know if you are interested in attending a show on Sundays or Thursdays at Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault in Boston. Thanks!

Pats Week One Observations

  • Why do they insist on calling it "Monday Night Football" if its on a Thursday?
  • Oh boy! Its the traditional "Bob Kraft Gets to Address the Nation" moment. can we get this guy to run for Senate? I'm not sure where he is politically, but the opportunity to see him debate Ted kennedy is just too much to pass up.
  • Okay the banner has been presented, so now Bob Kraft can hand things off to someone coherent. Take it away...Ozzy Osbourne?
  • Back in 1990 I never thought I'd see the day when the pats would become the NFLs reigning dynasty, and they would come out from a giant helmet stage that pops open to have Ozzy Osbourne playing a song for their entrance music. In 1990 I think William Hung would have been the only one who would have sung to introduce Rod Rust's charges.
  • Geez, Randy Moss is frightening when he has a little room. Thankfully he only touched the ball five times.
  • I wonder how many of the NFL players actually listen to the country music that ABC is seemingly addicted to using for Thursday Night Football? How many Kevin Millars are there in the NFL?
  • 10:35pm. Kevin Millar? Oh, did the Red Sox play last night?

Monday, September 05, 2005

Canes vs. Noles Observations

  • Being a Miami Hurricane/Boston Red Sox fan is kind of like being a Muslim who is addicted to bacon.
  • The 'Canes put in a backup running back and the announcer was just about salivating because the kid was from New Orleans. "Get the violin music cued up there, boys!"
  • Hey, Jeb Bush got some air time. WHY? Since when did New Orleans come under his realm? Probably because ABC News has somehow morphed into FOX News with the poll claiming that most Americans don't blame Bush for the bungling of New Orleans. Even tried-and-true Red Staters who were burning Bush in effigy stopped for a second and said, "How'd they come up with THAT one?" Oh well, at least Jeb came out as a Canes fan.
  • Gawd, these announcers are awful. One of them mis-identified a Miami tight end as Jeremy Shockey. Here's another helpful hint: Jim Kelley isn't the QB at Miami anymore, either.
  • Preview for "Lost": A woman in the dark saying, "I think there's SOMETHING here." Really? I don't even watch the damn show and I can tell ya, "Yup, there is."
  • The Miami kicker is wearing number "13." I guess this means retiring the number for Gino Toretta is officially out of the question now?
  • At one point they dubbed Miami as "Tight End U." Of course, it sounded like "tight end you" which has disturbing implications.
  • Bad snap on a field goal try at the end of the game seemingly ends Miami's chances and they say, "is this the year Miami is finally victimized by bad kicking?" Hey, news flash: Miami ALWAYS had bad kicking, at least since Carols Huerta. FSU was just more visible about it.
  • Another pet peeve about the announcers: "He hung in there forever!" Well, by its very definition you can't use "forever" with a past-tense verb. Because if it happened in the past, then it obviously wasn't "forever" was it? You could say, "He WILL hang in there forever" but then the game would go on for infinity and we won't be able to see if that woman from "Lost" was right and there was indeed something there with them.
  • On a non-game note, this reminds me of another pet peeve - the overuse of the word "historical." Before the levees broke in New Orleans, they were describing the storm as "historic." Obviously it will turn out that way, but when I first heard it, it was far from clear. A better example is when the Rolling Stones played Fenway Park. Why was it described as "historic?" As far as I can tell, it was the first time they played at Fenway. So what? I'm sure there are lots of places they go to for the first time. I don't remember their first concert at Gillette Stadium being described as "historic."

Oh well, that will do it for tonight. A tough loss for the Canes, but at least that Jim Kelley to Jeremy Shockey connection looks good. I'm going to try to roll out a new recurring feature tomorrow. I have a couple of busy weeks ahead so there probably won't be many comedy schedule updates for a few days anyway.

Thursday, September 01, 2005


3G's Sports Bar
152 Millbury Street
Worcester, MA

Comedy Connection
Fanueil Hall
Boston, MA

As always,
email me if you are interested in attending a show on Sundays or Thursdays at Dick Doherty's Comedy Vault in Boston.

New For Christmas

Not sure I will be able to afford a Christmas Tree this year. I'm thinking of a Christmas "Bush" instead: it's like a traditional Christmas Tree, except without lights because electricity is too expensive. On a positive note, it will have authentic icicles because I won't be able to afford heating oil.

Nero's Vacation

Hey, at least Nero was in Rome while it burned and not on a month-long vacation. I'll bet the hurricane probably didn't seem so bad in Crawford, TX.